Nannys funeral!!

Today, I attended my nannys funeral!! I'll be honest, I really don't know how I'm feeling! My stomach is in knots! It was a nice service, and I was getting through it okay, until they mentioned my mum! Thats when the tears started to well! Its occasions like this that old emotions come flying back, emotions you've tried to suppress! Its amazing how you never get over a loss, you just learn to suppress it!! I still feel the shock of losing Grandad like it was yesterday.

My mum is another classic example. I have no memory of her. Its weird how you can greive for someone, you can't remember, I think its a grief for what I missed out on.

You know, I was thinking yesterday, what would I do and say if I was to meet Mum, Nanny and Grandad, one more time. With Nanny and Grandad, I'd probably pull them both into the biggest hug, and never want to let them go! But mum, I don't know!! Would I laugh, cry, stand there in shock...... Who knows!!??!!

Anyway, now I've vented, I'm gonna go and watch hollyoaks......

Before I go, as a teenager I had the biggest crush on Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys, and no-one ever understood why!! I have to admit neither did I, and I STILL have such a crush on this man, WHY?!! This is why!!! Just recently I found this picture of him and its quite recent.... I always knew there was a stud in there trying to get out, this is why I class him as a BEAUTIFUL MAN!!!!

Hummunna Hummmuna Grrrr!!

Till next time!!!

xx